Monday, February 9, 2009

Duckster: A love story

In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd tell you about barnyard romance...

In our coop, we have two Muscovy Ducks- Clyde and Duckster. They came to us earlier in the winter from a friend who found herself having to move far away and not wanting to worry about moving her livestock AND children. So she had to get rid of one or the other. Although her kids are stinking cute, and we would have kept them, she decided to give us the ducks and roosters instead. Luckily, her circumstances seemed to have changed so that she may soon be able to take back her ducks (don't worry, she still has her kids too!).

Meanwhile, we have Clyde and Duckster. Who may or may not be father and daughter or brother and sister, I have no idea. I probably should have asked. But I had this hippie idea that we shouldn't clip their wings because it's cruel. Let them FLY! We have land and a creek.... The only problem there is well....

Our neighbors definitely have "free-ranging" poultry. In fact, they are so free-ranging that they have a tendency to waddle over and visit our place. On one such visit, Duckster fell in love with a Muscovy from across the street. Yes he waddled over to the fence, and she came out of the coop into the run and their eyes turned into the cartoon hearts. So she flew over the fence to be with him... Clyde couldn't bear to see his love go, so he flew the coop to retrieve her. At this auspicious moment, a well-meaning, innocent (yet striking beautiful) DivaHick wanders into the yard with a puppy. Lo and behold there are now four Muscovy ducks to the side of the house and three very hennish hens gaggling in the front of the house.

I- I mean she- very quickly dumps the poor puppy in the house and goes after the hens who are trying to cross the street. None of them got hit by a car. (Hey this is Ohio- people AIM for livestock.) She sprints over to the side yard where two Muscovy males lit out for home. Now wandering around our yard are the lovebirds. (Get it? Lovebirds?) Have you ever tried to separate two Muscovies in love? It's a lot easier than you think. Run full tilt at them and the male runs home (ok waddles quickly) and the female will try to get through the fence by running at it as hard as she can like it's Platform 9 3/4.

But no amount of chicken wire could stop their love.

It's true, just a few days from then I see Clyde waddling around the coop. He does not want to get back in the coop. Now for those of you who don't know Muscovy ducks or Clyde, well he's probably 8-12 pounds and has teeth and nails. This is not for the weak of heart friends. Luckily I had the puppy out and this time on a leash. Now here's how this would go peoples... I run one way around the coop chasing Clyde, and Clyde would naturally run away. Then guess what? Our little puppy would keep him from going to far. But I- I mean she, this is all in 3rd party voice right? Yeah, yeah SHE would chicken out and fail to grab the duck with teeth and nails. (Like how I remembered what voice it should be right then?) Finally she gets the $%(*#$& duck in the coop and return to the house. Yet something haunts her...

Trepidaciously, she returns to the coop and lifts the lid. One, two, three, four.......ten, eleven, twelve. TWELVE? Who's missing? OH NO DUCKSTER!!! There's only one place she could be, and that's across the street with Romeo. But, building on the dramatic nature of story, snow begins to fall. Soon it begins to swirl around and around. The entire area has been socked in by a snowstorm and the search for Duckster has been called off due to inclement weather.

Coming soon... Part II...

2 comments:

HermitJim said...

Man...this has got me ROTFLMAO! My sides are hurting as I envision all this going on!

Thanks for the entertainment this morning, my friend!

Anonymous said...

Dude. LOOOVVVEEE the Harry Potter reference!

Bridgette