Saturday, February 14, 2009

Duckster: A Love Story Part 3

As soon as Duckster's poor little webbed feet hit the ground, she got away from us as fast as she could and waddled her fluffy feathery butt into the coop. (Another way I knew she was definitely Duckster, she knew right where the door was and how to get in and no one was afraid of her--- well no more than normal.) From the other side of the fence we could hear her swearing at us in there.

Duckster: "You stupid sons of a (female dog who's had puppies) I was getting my groove on with Horace across the street and you (plural version of a part of the body that allows excrement out) come and drag me home. I swear to God when I turn 18 I'm out of here. And then you CLIP MY WING!?!?!?!?! I mean SERIOUSLY what if I WANTED it to look like that? And what do you mean I'm grounded???

DivaHick: Now Duckster, you may not speak to me that way. And you are far to young for that kind of language.

Duckster: #*($@ OFF!!!! ::Duckster angrily storms out of the coop::

DivaHick: Ok that's enough, you may not see that duck again, he's from the wrong side of the road.

Duckster: I do what I want! I LOVE HIM....

(I apologize to all my readers, I've been watching Maury again... well not really.... ok just the once.)

At this venture, Clyde comes over to see Duckster. He rushes over to her when suddenly the entire world slows down and they begin to waddle toward each other...

Clyde: Oh Duckster, I'm sorry it took me so long to get over the death of Bonnie. But time has healed my wounds, and I realize now that I love you. Please, please forgive me and give me another chance...

Duckster: Oh I do forgive you my feathered friend, and I love you... but... I may be carrying Horace's child.

At this precise moment she squatted and laid an egg...

Clyde: Is it... his?

Duckster: What does it matter, I'm not feeling broody anyways.

Clyde: Do you think, could you...?

Duckster: Oh Clyde, I do. I do love you!!! I'm so sorry about my fling with Horace and I promise to stay home where I belong from now on (at least until I molt).

Then Clyde embraced her, and did that thing male ducks have been doing to female ducks since time immemorial...

Happy Valentine's Day

The End

So basically, our duck flew away, we got her back, clipped her wings and mated her to our male Muscovy and I made a three part story out of it... and you read it all... suckers...

2 comments:

HermitJim said...

Itg eas an enjoyable read, my friend! I'm a sucker for happy endings...

FarmerGeek said...

woohoo, racy!!!